That way neither of you feels overwhelmed at the thought of having to “process” together for more than a little while. In the first list, name all of the similarities that exist between you.
If this is the case, then it’s probably time to have a serious discussion regarding whether it’s worth continuing to invest in this relationship.
On the other hand, you may find out that you have much more in common than you realized, and that even where you two differ, there’s plenty of room for negotiation and compromise.
Are there items on that list that, when you really think about them, don’t seem to be “do or die” issues?
It may not ultimately matter, for example, that one of you loves the National League, and the other loves the American League.
Or maybe your non-negotiables are about relationship-related issues.
For example, you might decide that a person needs to be a skilled communicator in order for you to be willing to consider some sort of serious commitment.
What you are trying to do in this list is to create a set of issues that you care about, but that in a serious relationship, you would be at least open to discussing the idea of agreeing to disagree.
What are my NEGOTIABLES when it comes to Compatibility?
Or that one of you thinks New Kids on the Block was more talented than N’ Sync, and the other feels just the opposite.
We’re not saying that you should ignore or minimize major distinctions that exist between you.
Or maybe you decide to list a mutual willingness to be faithful as one of your non-negotiables.